Cigarette Burns (08)

I have to admit, in order to improve my opinion about this particular episode of Masters Of Horror, i had to watch it a couple of times. I think it has a great story, with definitely a lot to it, and with a few extra points thanks to good acting and a creepy soundtrack.

So, about the argument. Thought it was awesomely original, i mean, it's not new that certain movies/books/games/other objects have some sort of curse or something like that (like two episodes of the following season, Pelts and Valerie on The Stairs), and make people go insane or bring dead myths to life. Yet, the story in Cigarette Burns is consistent, beautifully done (helped by special effects and characterization - i mean, look at that sacrificed angel), and creepy. I was thinking about that for a week, c'mon - nowadays that is freakin' unusual. Anyway, i think the argument of Cigarette Burns has definitely a lot to it.

The soundtrack fitted perfectly on the episode, bringing a whole new atmosphere to it. Also, there were a few details that i though were awesome, like the Saw II movie poster on the theater wall. There was only one little detail that i thought was a totally WTF? moment for the episode - what was the deal with that ending scene where the daughter/girlfriend appears totally covered in blood, Carrie style ? I liked the reference to the classic movie, but i thought it didn't add anything to the story, except, of course, for the fact that this happening in particular follows the line of the episode - both characters watched "Le Fin Absolue Du Monde" and went insane (just like the dude who put his lower intestine on a reel, and the Asian servant who saved the angel). And also, i thought the story was a little bit incomplete in the end (we'll never know what happened to the fattie friend).

Overall, i think that John Carpenter had an amazing performance while directing this episode. It's disturbing, gory, scary and made me think. I totally advise it.

Deer Woman (07)

Hm, there isn't much to say about this episode. Nothing i wasn't already expecting, since the last episodes of Masters of Horror have been quite disappointing - they had the material to do a lot better. And the stories are always quite promising. Well, not this one - Deer Woman is simply lame, although the story was off to a very curious start.

Special effects are really lame, although acting is quite good, yet the soundtrack is awful . And what the hell is wrong with the boobs ? There isn't an episode where we have lack of boobs (indeed, there is, but later on).

All in one - stupidity at its best, and i wouldn't advise you to keep high expectations over this episode.

"Shut up, Fukes ! "

Homecoming (06)

This has to be the worse zombie flick ever made. Honestly, what the hell were they thinking about ? Couldn't expect a wonder, i mean, it's a Masters of Horror episode. The story was awful, and inconsistent as hell.

The beginning is not very quiet, and i think it was quite promising, by far the best scene of the episode. Yet, it kept expectations quite high, and maybe that's why the overall episode is so freakin' lame, involving lots of patriotic mambojambo and war bullshit. Acting is hideous, and the story is absolutely full of clichés (for instance zombies getting out of the caskins - nothing new to it). I guess special effects are kinda cool, but the soundtrack is (as usual for MOH) lame, and photography is nothing new. Yet, i have to give them credit for the special effects, i mean, i can almost smell the dead flesh from where i'm standing.

What the hell is that thing about the fact that voting kills zombies ? The story has some serious lack of consistency (i must have said this like a cazillion times so far), and is not sucking me into it - too much politics for my brain !

Although the lameness of the story and the ridiculous ending, i give production a lot of credit for honoring George A. Romero - huge detail of his name in the tomb, he's like the king of zombie flicks.

Overall... Uh.

Chocolate (05)

Chocolate is not quite my idea of an horror episode. It is more like a romantic action flick. When i think of horror, i think of a lot of action, fights, torture and a bit of gore, unexpected stuff. And lately i haven't seen much of that - how disappointing. Yet, nothing i wasn't already expecting.

The story is off to a quiet start, i liked the rock concert scene and the whole "i'm losing my senses thing" - quite different and greatly done, which is one of the reasons why i think acting was quite good in this episode. The other is that it totally made me buy the story (although it isn't quite horror material), i mean - imagine that whole spasm scene again. Wasn't it awesome and completely "buyable" ? I loved it. By the way, what the hell is wrong with that boob fixation ? I guess this is supposed to be an horror story, not a lame porno... But i might be wrong.

The story is kinda quiet, yet i liked it a lot, specially the ending. Yes, some stuff is poorly explained (like the relation between chocolate and the episode), but this is one good episode.

Jenifer (04)

About Jenifer there isn't too much to say, i liked the story a lot, but i suppose it might have worked better if the special effects weren't so lame and if some of those ridiculous moments were simply cut off the episode. In Jenifer, acting is slightly better than in the previous episodes, and i suppose the girl who played Jenifer impersonated her character quite well (must be really hard acting like a nymphomaniac moron that eats people, ahah).

The story is quite consistent and with a lot to it, yet, there were these moments where i just bursted out laughing: especially when the wife finds out about Jenifer and faints, and when Jenifer offers the dude some intestine to eat. The sex scene between Jenifer and Frank was insanely good, must have been by far the best part of the whole episode (apart of the ending, which was totally unexpect). Oh, and did i mention that the soundtrack sucks ? Guess i didn't - seems awfully hard to find an episode that actually fits the standards of what's good horror.

Anyway and overall, i guess Jenifer isn't such a bad choice.

Dance of The Dead (03)

Okay, so my overall review of Dance of The Dead is that it has a creepy and original World War III story, interesting characters, kinda quiet yet sometimes hard to follow - and it had a lot of psychadelic moments.

The first moments of Dance of The Dead were promising a lot more, but then the disappointment came. I mean, the overall story makes total sense, yet is kinda weird and perverted, somehow twisted. Acting was terrible, and didn't make me fall into the story at all.

I have to be honest though, when i started to watch Masters of Horror, this was the first episode i saw, and it was the episode that made me aware of the existence of the series. When i saw the trailer, i thought that it had to be awesome, i mean, come on - no one grabs 13 of the greatest horror movie directors (including - that's right - Tobe Hopper) and produces lame horror cinema. It's simply impossible, like an attack to the work of the so-called masters of horror. Maybe this was why Dance of the Dead disappointed me so much, i loved Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Tobe Hopper's masterpiece from 1974) and i was expecting a gory, scary story.

It wasn't that bad, yet it had it's ridiculous points - on to provoke laughter. Definitely not the best of the season.

Dreams in the Witch House (02)

Oh my god, what the hell was that ? I thought i was about to watch an horror TV episode... Unfortunately i was clearly mistaken. You see, Dreams in a Witch House is not quite my idea of horror.

First of all, the story is awfully quiet, and a total cliché ever since the beginning. I mean, come on, how man TV series or horror movies have already appeared about people in "haunted" houses ? Tons of it, i can't even use my fingers to count them. Yet again, the story itself was about to be promising, if it wasn't so ridiculous (and badly done). Acting is absolutely lame, i mean the guy is nerdy, kinda cute, but honestly - there isn't a single good acting performance in this piece of crap.

The stories about witches are always full of religious mambojambo -why, god, why ? I can't even remember the story straight, but something was off with the dude who slammed his head against something over and over again.

In general, the story wasn't so bad, but special effects were absolutely lame and the mouse thingy was only there to make me laugh - or something like that. Also, the ending isn't complete for all of the characters - what happened to Frances ?

So my advice is - don't use Dreams In the Witch House to your premiere in Masters Of Horror. You'll regret it, i promise.

Incident on and off a Mountain Road (01)

I don't really know the work of Don Coscarelli, in fact this is the first time i have ever heard about him. Yet again, i was quite impressed with this particular episode, thinking it might be a good season start for Masters Of Horror.

So, about the story itself, it doesn't have that much to it, the same old cliche of a innocent woman who gets caught by some sort of serial killer. The beginning seemed like an old videoclip, and then BAM! she has an accident and it all begins before that, the story is perfectly built with those flashback scenes, although we can only understand what they actually mean in the end.

I thought that was a smart and bold move, that gave the episode all the movement it needed, since the story is actually full of cliches (woods, a slasher and so on), yet that sort of "survival guide" had an huge contribution for understanding Ellen's behaviour. Also, it had just enough gore, not to gross or bloody, even though special effects were all sorts of lame and photography as well. The rape scene is amazingly built, [spoiler alert!] and then we can finally understand what the hell is wrong with the ex-husband: he's totally crazy and she killed him because he's insane.

In the end, it's not the best i've ever seen, but the character of Ellen made the whole episode worth while.

Masters Of Horror - Season One

So what to say about the first season of Masters Of Horror (2005) ?

First of all, i was largely disappointed with some of the episodes, i thought i was about to watch a quality season of horror episodes, and all the expectations went literally down the toilet. In the whole season, i might have liked 3 or 4 episodes, with a special mention to the famous (more like infamous) banned episode by Takashi Miike - Imprint. After a season of bad horror, i really thought they were keeping the best to the end, so thumbs up for all that suspense.

Overall, the general idea of Masters of Horror is extremely positive, with its high and its low points (especially Homecoming, absolute disappointment of the season). Thumbs up for Fair-Haired Child, Chocolate and, of course, Imprint.